Following a welcome tour around the therapy rooms and wellness space, I dive into my experience here with a most unorthodox start: fifteen minutes of BTL EmSella. This physiotherapy, which basically involves sitting on a chair with hyper-targeted electromagnetic waves, stimulates the pelvic floor muscles and I’m told is the equivalent of doing up to 12,000 kegels.
Next up is the red light therapy bed. Having grown up on Final Destination, I have yet to lie in any kind of lamp bed due to an irrational fear that it’ll never open – but Vanessa, Tramp Health’s spa manager, laughs and reassures me it’ll work just fine if I leave it cracked. My 20 minutes are beyond relaxing – a similar-ish feeling to being at the beach, only I’ve swapped my aviators for eye-protector goggles. I’ve done and loved LED face masks before, but reaping the full-body benefits felt great, as I’m obsessed with all things cell repair and skin regeneration and have read how much red light therapy use accelerates these.
Next was the most revolutionary part of the day: a gut massage by Sophie. I’ve heard rave reviews about lymphatic drainage but have never actually experienced one of the massages – I’m a better candidate for deep tissue treatments anyways, as most of my tensions feel muscular, but following this session I’d say there’s no candidate who wouldn’t be right for this. I didn’t just leave with the visible benefits people swear by: after an hour of being guided to breathe with my stomach as Sophie tended to points across the abdomen area, I felt considerably less stressed.